Am I being an ass?

"Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing." (granfury)
08/23/2015 at 20:29 • Filed to: None

A few weeks back I was taking care of a friend’s house and stumbled upon a Samsung Galaxy SIII with a dead battery under the couch. I know it belongs to my friend’s wife, but the location and dead battery tells me that it was being ‘used’ by their toddler son; played with is more like it. She switched over to iOS, and according to him, let the kid play with the phone. This seems like a waste to me, especially as I am trying to get back into the IT world and need to learn more modern phone systems, with my last Android experience being 2.3.

I’ve asked if they could part with it, and was told that he’d have to ask her. I’ve even given the kidlet a few other old phones that he can destroy. So far he hasn’t asked her (she travels a lot), but then again, he hasn’t paid me for the housesitting either.

It’s not like the kidlet is actually using this phone for anything given the dead battery, and I doubt he would really care if it disappeared. I did provide him with several others with sliding keyboards and lots of buttons, things that should appeal to a toddler. So, am I being an ass for asking for this old, unwanted phone?

DISCUSSION (33)

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/23/2015 at 20:33

Ehhhhhhh yeah kind of. Why not just buy your own?

Agrajag > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/23/2015 at 20:33

No.

Had you taken it without asking? A bit.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/23/2015 at 20:37

Well, I’m unemployed and broke. The last time I tried to buy one I got a great deal but then got screwed by a seller that allegedly shipped it to the wrong address and then was deployed overseas and all funds were lost.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/23/2015 at 20:41

I think it’s rude to go into other people’s homes and critique their use of their possessions or ask for them. It actually drives me nuts.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Agrajag
08/23/2015 at 20:42

I could have easily taken it and nobody would have been any the wiser, but I pride myself on being an ethical person and couldn’t do that.

Iheartmy365kHonda - Car enthusiasts do like FWD > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/23/2015 at 20:49

Maybe a smidge. I can see their defense on it. However, you HAVE given them old phones. I’m failing to see the problem here.

boxrocket > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/23/2015 at 20:51

Yes and no. Sure, it’s theirs, but they seemingly have little use for it. An exchange as you mentioned with a beater phone for the child and the housesitting seems fair.

That said, the S3 is fairly long in the tooth. My wife had problems with hers, got an S5, which gave her problems most of the time she had it, so she just replaced it with a Note4. It might be better to save up for something newer to putter around with. Or I could perhaps send you one of the Lumias I got kicking around if you need something newer.

XJDano > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/23/2015 at 21:01

Nope, if you can put it to use, you should be able to have it. As long as they give it to you.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > boxrocket
08/23/2015 at 21:10

Lumias are Windows-based, right? I’m trying to find something that will support Android 4.4 since that’s the version I’m most likely to encounter. I switched over to iOS years ago and have been happy with that decision, but think I need to have a working knowledge of the current releases of the major operating systems.

WhereAreMyPants > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/23/2015 at 21:13

For asking, no.

For expecting some kind of rapid answer, and getting slightly pissy about not having received one, yes.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/23/2015 at 21:15

Does the s3 natively support 4.4? I know there are custom roms out there but you don’t want to deal with that if you are looking for IT on vanilla android. Have you also considered using a tablet? Usually cheaper and run the same exact OS. You can definitely pick up a Nexus 7 under $100 and it will certainly operate better than a janky used S3.

Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/23/2015 at 21:17

Android 6.0 bro, coming out this fall. My phone just got updated to 5.1 even though it runs pretty much stock Android, (with a little VZW crap I disabled) even though 5.1 has been out since around November.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/23/2015 at 21:19

Obviously you use your own possessions in an incorrect, inappropriate or inadequate fashion...

:-)

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > WhereAreMyPants
08/23/2015 at 21:19

How long is reasonable? It’s been a week since I last asked. I also haven’t been paid for the house sitting, and with no income at the moment I could really put that cash to use. I’m trying not to be a pain, but I’m reminded of my first boss that taught me that it is better to owe money than to be owed so that you have the control in the situation.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%)
08/23/2015 at 21:21

I did a little research and found that it will support 4.4 natively as it is one of the better versions of the S3, but will probably be the last official upgrade for it.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/23/2015 at 21:23

I would say offer at least one or two other old phones the little kid can play with. And explain that it would really help you out given that you’re broke, unemployed and trying to get back into IT.

I’m sure they’ll give it to you.

In my view, you would only be an ass if you just took it without saying anything and hoped nobody would notice.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/23/2015 at 21:25

Yes and the early Lumias were crap. Even the newer ones are crap in my book.

Focus on learning and being up to date on Android and iOS first.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
08/23/2015 at 21:31

I had a few that I was going to toss and brought them over for the kid last week, so there is that. Hopefully three for one will be enough.

WhereAreMyPants > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/23/2015 at 21:56

Did they agree to pay you in advance for house sitting? If so, they should be paying you asap. Either way, the house sitting isn’t relevant to whatever is going on with the phone.

You asked for them to give you something. You received a noncommittal answer. You can ask again, which would make you kind of an ass, or you can let it go, and certainly not be an ass at all.

I get that you want the phone, and you can’t go buy one on your own. That doesn’t obligate them to give it to you. At all. Ever.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > WhereAreMyPants
08/23/2015 at 22:04

Yes, the agreement was for a certain number of days at so much per day, worked out ahead of time. Whenever I meet up with my friend there’s always some reason he doesn’t have the cash.

I realize that there is -zero- obligation to give me the phone. I would just like an answer, yes or no, rather than dragging things along, however this delay would not be without precedent.

WhereAreMyPants > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/24/2015 at 01:06

Sorry, mate, but you have a way bigger problem than the phone. Get what’s owed.

boxrocket > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/24/2015 at 13:52

Yes, Lumias run Windows, which, after much trial and error on other OSes is by far my favorite, and it’s beyond satisfactory. Easier to use than IOS and vastly more modern, almost as customizable as android, but without the frustration inherent with too-loose setting that require constant tweaking, and it will soon be able to run android apps (and already can in the previews).

The galaxy s3 isn’t likely to support what you want, so you might be better served with a cheaper prepaid or Craigslist model.

BenLikesCars > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/26/2015 at 21:28

If you provide replacement toys for the kid, well... Maybe if you ask to borrow it... But you’ve already asked. Keep bringing toys for the offspring, I say. No harm done with that.

BenLikesCars > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/26/2015 at 21:30

Regarding the “wrong address” seller, that is messed up

BenLikesCars > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/26/2015 at 21:39

The dragging-out is a de facto no, it seems. If they ever say yes, then it’s a pleasant surprise.

It’s kind of a nuisance. But the friendship might be more important than a cell phone and a few dollars.

BenLikesCars > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
08/26/2015 at 21:44

You’ve learned something about them. Perhaps they’re good friends, sure, but they’re not someone to make certain kinds of agreements with. That’s a pain in the ass. The money is probably as good as lost. It’s like some people are great to do a, b, and c with, but doing other stuff (going to a restaurant without asking the waitstaff for separate checks in advance, for example) will cause aggravation.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > BenLikesCars
08/26/2015 at 23:52

We have a volunteer organization (CAP) that we both participate in that meets on Monday nights. I met him for dinner, as is the norm, and did ask about the cash. He was apologetic and said he’d have it on Wednesday; three of us from the group were going to meet up and throw some brats on the grill and have a couple of drinks. At least that was what was suggested but I didn’t hear anything concrete and didn’t know if I was invited.

I hadn’t heard back from him, but the other guy sent a message saying that he was going to be a little late. I relayed that information to money/phone guy and found out that no, he can’t do it tonight (about 20 minutes before we were supposed to be at his house) because of things he needed to take care of at the office. Having just been laid off from the same department in the same company, I can understand, knowing that this is budget time. He’ll come through with the money eventually, but since we’re not in the same office anymore it just makes it a little more challenging. It’s been a while since he’s been out of work and is probably consumed with his own life (crap job, toddler, well-paid wife that travels 3-5 days/week) to think about others.

And here I sit, killing time playing old video games when I should be a tad more productive...

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > BenLikesCars
08/27/2015 at 00:04

I brought over three old phones for the kid, although one was one that my friend loaned me a couple of years ago that it turns out I couldn’t actually use (thanks Sprint...) I’ve got some other goodies for the kid that I was going to sell on eBay, but I’d rather give to him and save me the hassle. It’s amazing what you can find at thrift stores during the $0.50/item sales.

Sometimes I sense a little tension in their relationship. She’s younger, better educated and has a better job and better car. He’s probably too wrapped up in his own world to ask about something trivial like this, and I don’t want to do anything to affect the tenuous balance that must need to be maintained in that house.

Tohru > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/08/2015 at 15:00

I can understand where you’re coming from. I mean, she is your wife. In my defense I thought you’d be cool with it. Sorry, bro.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Tohru
10/08/2015 at 19:27

Cool with what? Did I miss something?

Tohru > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/09/2015 at 03:34

I was making a terrible joke.

How’s the new Vibe working out for ya?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Tohru
10/09/2015 at 10:56

Ohhhhh wait I just now got the joke! 2 days later, not bad!

Vibe is good, 48 hours later and hasn’t exploded yet

Tohru > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/09/2015 at 11:38

I could make dirty and inappropriate jokes about your wife having a Vibe for 48 hours, but I shall refrain from doing so.